Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Top #10 Facebook crimes

Well, there are more than that, but let's face it: both you, the reader, and I, the ranter, will get bored after ten. Please feel free to add more.

1. Overly soppy couples. There is an inbox feature for a reason.

2. ENDLESS photo albums. No-one wants to see 100 pictures of you and your mates being 'random'.

3. Private joke statuses that no-one else will find remotely funny/interesting. No-one else understands, why are you posting it for everyone to see? So they can see that you actually have friends, or...?

4. Relentless self-promotion. Once in a while, when you are trying to get established, ok... All the time? I stopped bothering to even click the link after the fourth time that day.

5. Those really annoying fan pages. You know the ones. Not funny, usually misspelt and full of 'I thought I was only one to think that way!!!!! Omg!!!!111111' You can't become a fan of a shit phrase. You are supposed to be a fan of a band, or an artist etc. Not 'I love my bed!' or that classic, 'Randomly laughing because you remembered something funny' (5,114,329 people like this).

6. Almost hourly life updates. Again, no-one cares if you are asleep (surely impossible if you are writing this), sooo stoked for dinner or 'at spoons wiv my girlies,  emma jones && @sally smith'.

7.  People with babies. Well, the ones who post about their every action. Well done for procreating, I don't need to know every time it has a shit.*
* This may be a slight exaggeration.

8. PlacesJohn Smith is at Tesco. Erm, great?

9. SpamHow exciting!! A private message! Who could it be?!? Oh, it's that group that I don't really want to leave, but send me about 5 messages a day. 

10. PokingWant to get in contact but are too lazy to think of anything to actually say to your friend? Then, the poke is just the action for you. 

**Disclaimer: I ain't saying I'm a saint all the time...

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