So I decided to devise Made in Chelsea Bingo. Or a drinking game, or well, whatever. Because these things will happen at least once in an episode WHATEVER happens. You must drink/scream/whatever at the TV when:*
1. Anyone calls Jamie 'Boi'. BOI. Or utter 'YEH BOI'. In a non-gangster way, just because they're really cool.
2. Rosie mentions how weird her friendship is at the moment with Millie. I mean, they didn't have a friendship before that much, I mean, God knows they didn't really like each other, but their FRAHNDSHIP is really weird right now.
3. Someone gets called a stupid nickname. Wheeze, Spenny, Caggs, Millie Mack, Binky.
4. Every time there is an awkward silence.
5. Someone puts on an affected accent (the beauty of this one is that there is so much to choose from - Louise, Kimberley, Hugo's new bird, Rosie... I could go on. I mean, I don't know how they talk, they are concentrating that much on their frail-ness.
6. Rosie and Victoria are MORE EVIL. They will say at least, hmm, 3 things to destroy poor Millie's soul about her fashion career. "Yeh, I think [Rosie]'s applying for a real job..." (read: not like you Millie, who is doing a lowly internship).
7. Mark Francis laughs horsily, showing his ENTIRE mouth. Or mentions Jana, his former maid.
8. Amber tries to make out that she's not a 'society girl' or 'Chelsea' but she will talk in an uber-affected voice and perceive that she is better than, hmm, everyone else. And she'll be mean to Francis.
9. Binky says something stupid, or mentions fake tan (the last one applies to Ollie and Cheska too).
10. Francis tries to chat up a girl (he must have got through nearly the entire population of Chelsea by now), and it will be awkward, and we will cringe, and it will be deliciously brilliant. I think I fancy him a bit, despite/because of this.
11. Ollie runs his fingers through his shining mane.
12. Spencer says something inexcusably arrogant. Ok, Spenny, we get it. You didn't get the girl, you don't need to be a knob about it.
13. Jamie more resembles an over-enthusiastic labrador and talk like he's laughing. Constantly. Over time, you will grow to love him and want to marry him for his seemingly endless energy (just me? Ok).
14. Every time Frederick appears, because let's face it, he doesn't appear enough, and he's clever and dead fit and that.
*I realise that you might not be able to drink with this capacity so what you must do is distribute the numbers between your friends and drink when your number happens.