Glastonbury Review #1

So I wrote up my review of Glastonbury today for the people at Beat Review which should be up soon but this is a personal review concentrating on specifics as opposed to a general overview (ish). So I decided to write something here, but at the moment I'm not really feeling any inspiration. So I ate some mackerel (brain food, you know). SO. Glastonbury. The big G. 

Pulled Apart by Horses

It was pretty amazing. There was a lot of mud for the most part, but that just made it all the more fun (kind of). We went up to the Stone Circle (hippy central) on the first night when we'd pitched the tent, which I wish we'd seen more of, met some cool Scottish people camping nearby and Thursday we explored and went to the headphone disco - which started out with shitty, generic indie and continued to some classic songs (I can't remember what exactly but I danced a lot). We also met up with some friends by the Brother's Cider stand which was very pleasant (both cider and friends).

Highlights of Friday included Two Door Cinema Club (they were bouncy and so grateful to be there and can I marry the lead singer?) and Asian Dub Foundation - I hadn't listened to them in aages (I used to listen to them when my brother wasn't in his room) and they're still really good! Brilliant political, dub-rap. They've drifted a bit away from more dubby stuff but are still intelligent, danceable and put on a brilliant show (I didn't even know they were still around until I saw them on the line-up). We also saw Metronomy who had the difficult task of kicking off the Pyramid Stage, and they did a really good job - as a band they were really tight.

Glastonbury Review #2

Saturday, the winners for me were The Kills (VV is my idol for being ridiculously cool). They played an amazing set which just exuded cool and energy - when she started playing guitar and the drums... Wow. It was a shame, though, because we were so far back, the people around us were fairly static and, well, I looked a bit of a fool doing the standard 'I'm-at-an-indie-gig-rocking-back-and-tapping-my-foot' dance. They were still amazing though. We stopped by the BBC Introducing Stage a few times too. Also Krafty Kuts deserve a mention, as although we only saw a little of their set, were SO GOOD and really got the crowd going (I have never seen so many DJ sets within such a short space of time). Pulled Apart by Horses. Oh my God. Amazing, full of energy and shouty as always and the guitarist was hot... Chemical Brothers - we weren't even going to see them, but boy am I glad we did. Blew me away - they mixed their own songs so skilfully and really built up the suspense.

Sunday - the last day. Started out watching some reggae-ish people in The Park (who played 54/46 by Toots & the Maytals) by the Glastonbury sign, and went to see Dan le Sac Vs. Scroobious Pip who were surprisingly enjoyable since I'm not really a fan on record - it was their MCing which really made it for me - they were funny! After that we saw the Vaccines for a bit but didn't really pay much attention, and then a glut of DJs overlapping. The Freestylers were really good - breaks and dubstep mostly; we only saw a little of DJ Fresh but there was a massive crowd and he cranked out the big beats; and then back for our final act of the festival - Plump DJs. They really interacted with the crowd and because we were so close we could see every expression - they were genuinely happy to be there. And played some AMAZING breaks.

So Glasto was a success - I think with all the mud I'll need a couple of weeks to recover until my next festival (2000 Trees). Oh and one other thing - if you go in 2013, go to the Hare Krishna tent and get free food! Amazing (and tasty).

A lovely view of Glastonbury's sunset over some er toilets.

Glastonbury

I have just come back from Glastonbury - it was brilliant, I got covered in mud and saw some phenomenal acts. Now I'm home (via Cardiff for various reasons), I have been mostly recovering (and cleaning up) before I go back to work so there will be a review within the next couple of days.

Actually, maybe several reviews - there's just too much to fit in one post.

Beat Review

So I feel like a bit of a good Samaritan lately, promoting other people - perhaps because I've got a week's holiday to go to Cardiff and then Glastonbury or perhaps because I've just become a nicer person.

Nahh.

Anyway, you may not know that I do a bit of writing for Beat Review, an online music mag for Cardiff (why, you ask, am I writing about a place you don't live and let's face it, can never rarely afford to visit? Well, I don't know why but I know that I love music and Cardiff. And I can write. And they were desperate. 

I've just written an article for them (it was a long time coming since the last one) but from now on, there will be many more coming. This is my latest, about Primal Scream.

Sometimes controversial, sometimes funny and usually informative, you should read / follow / facebook if you don't already.

Some more articles that are worth a wee read:

Jobseekers - Connor Cupples (Co-ed)

Spotify - Charlotte Coxhead (Me, if you didn't know)

Twitter - John Shortland (Contributor)

Wimbledon Weather - Harriet Mould (Contributor)

Eurovision - Sprink Laysson (Contributor)

www.beatreview.com

www.twitter.com/beatreview

Pre-Glastonbury

I took this week off work for Glastonbury so I came home. On Saturday I met up with a friend and went to a food festival where Lindsay was showing off her work (it was amazing - loads of really nice food and she was dressed up as Alice in Wonderland. Also, I got some nice olives and discovered pickled garlic - sounds disgusting and I don't even like garlic, but I am completely addicted now). And I went out in Oswestry (my home town), which was simultaneously amazing and cretinous as usual.

Tomorrow I'm preparing to go to Glastonbury. When I say preparing, I am thinking about buying some wellies which I still haven't done (when I typed 'wellies' into a word document, autocorrect changed it to 'willies'. Interesting). I have a tent (zebra print so I don't lose it), I have a ticket and apparently there's a line-up clash app I can download. So I'm kind of ready.

I'm going to Cardiff tomorrow with my mate beforehand for a couple of days, and we'll go out to a bar (on a Monday night! How exciting!) and probably spend Tuesday panic-buying wellies from Primarni ( I couldn't face going to the Oxford Street jumble sale branch so I'll get my necessaries from Cardiff. I am very excited (and can't think of a witty ending sentence so this will have to do).

Lindsay's Cakery

Cake-lovers, sit up, there's a new baker in town.

Lindsay's Cakery is one one of the newest businesses in Shropshire area but her 'sweet treats and savoury delights' have attracted a lot of local press interest, and from the locals of course. She makes flapjacks, shortbread and birthday cakes amongst others but it is her cupcakes that have been a roaring success - with plenty of icing and handmade sugarcraft decorations.

Established only in July 2010,  it is still a new business but she has been preparing for this her whole life - we didn't listen to her when she was 12 and talking about owning a cakery because she liked the word 'cakery', but this dream is now a reality. She gains new followers every time she goes to a food event, having recently done a wedding order for 160 cupcakes (a growing trend, a quirky alternative to ANOTHER fruit cake). 

I've got my eye on her cakey pops - like chupa chups if they were made of cake and covered in chocolate. Maybe she'll let me try one *cough* freepublicity *cough*.

Check out her website for full gallery, contact or if you're just bored and hungry. If you're not doing anything, you should probably go to one of the events she's at over this summer.

www.lindsayscakery.co.uk

twitter.com/lindsayscakery

Spuntino Review: Eating my Words

I am currently engaging in my least favourite past-time: Admitting I'm wrong. It's hard, but someone has to do it. I went to Spuntino last night, expecting to be simultaneously unimpressed and intimidated but had a lovely time. Well, that's what I get from believing everything I read in the Evening Standard, I suppose.

Anyway, once I found the all-day place (after wondering confusedly down an alley full of dodgy sex shops and peep shows), I easily claimed two seats by the bar and was offered water straight away by a waiter / barman. There are no tables, just a bar with stools all around (it is a fairly small venue). As I awaited my friend, I looked around and noted its minimalist - menus are brown paper placemats, wine is served in tumblers and food is served in tin camping crockery.

My friend arrived, we ordered wine (which came in said tumblers - well, it's something different), and then food, a selection of nibbles. The eggplant chips with fennel yoghurt were incredibly moreish, as was the baked chicory - mackerel burger didn't really taste of mackerel (a vital characteristic for me) and my friend's eton-mess-y dessert was a little claggy (strawberry to meringue / cream ratio is vital), but mostly the food was a delight. We had a couple of cocktails afterwards which went down a treat (one had egg white in, one was a Moscow Mule with a twist). The walls were now lined with people waiting for a seat (the gap inbetween the bar and wall is just large enough for a small person to walk through, but not without making awkward body contact with those standing up)

Overall, it was an enjoyable eating experience - staff were not intrusive, but accessible and friendly (and wouldn't be out of place in Artrocker), food was a little bit different (I was actually very tempted by the boiled egg and soldiers) and it looks like a fairly cool, bright place. And I had a lovely catch-up. The only downside, as you would expect from a place like this is the price - the food and drinks add up easily. Such is London life...

Picture credit: LondonEater

œuf à la coque

It's been about a month now since I left the flat in Queen's Park so I decided to meet up with my ex-flatmate (she pencilled me in for two weeks time because she's very busy and important unlike me ('You want to meet up tonight? On the other side of London? I'll be there in ten minutes. In fact, I'm already halfway there on the offchance').

Anyway, that is now tomorrow and she emailed me today with the website of a bar that's 'supposed to be pretty cool'.

Well, it looks er, minimalist. It's got NY roots I think, and there's not a website as such, as a URL with a single page stating 'No bookings' and 'No telephone'. I mean, come on. Luckily she sent me a review which confirmed my suspicions even further - they serve soft-boiled eggs and soldiers as nibbles - which sounds wholesome enough, but it's probably very now and a mechanism for Soho types to discuss, you know, wasted childhood and chicken foetuses. Probably.

Naturally I emailed back straight away saying 'OH MY GOD IT SOUNDS SO PRETENTIOUS! Let's go!!' - and as my work is closer, come 5.45 tomorrow, I will be sitting there, fighting for dear life to save two seats, looking horrifically out of place and resisting the urge to ask if they have cheerios as well. I'll keep you posted.

London Waits for no Man (or Woman)

I think it was somewhere in between eating the discarded pasta from last night when I woke up and getting halfway through the series of the weak shitcom I was watching that it became very clear I had to stop this pattern. I had not really got out of bed for 1 1/2 days, the pile of Evening Standards I'd taken home has been getting increasingly higher (because I must re-read that article about that interesting artist, which I never do), made slightly higher by the pizza boxes that have been there for a week. I was rejecting invitations to go out, even the half-hearted one at 9.30pm yesterday for a drink (I had fully resigned to my bed by then).

I had just about given up on the day, and decided to ring my cousin to see what her plans were that week - she invited me over. I went over there a couple of hours later and after a pleasant evening of chat and abusing her contacts book, walked to the tube station. I was out there again: tasting the air, pounding the street with my faux worker boots, tapping my oyster card on the reader with a flourish and praying I didn't mis-time my entrance and walk into the barrier, eying the tube passengers and looking away when I made eye contact and ignoring the canoodling couple a few seats away making noises that made me increasingly nauseated and grateful that I was getting off at the next stop.

Finally, I’m ready to embrace London once more - life goes on.

My Top 7 Mash-Ups

I love mash-ups. One of my favourite pastimes is to trawl music blogs to see if I can find ones I haven't yet come across (cool, I know), but if you dig through all the crap, there is some talent out there. Theese are my favourites. The links mostly go to HypeMachine where you can listen and then download an mp3 if you so wish.

1. M.I.A. Vs. Mylo - Sunshowers (A + B Mashup by Lumifire) 

I love M.I.A.'s funky raps, I love Mylo's lush synths and Mylo just makes her more upbeat and summery. 

2. Nirvana Vs. Jackson 5 (Go Home Productions) - Smells Like Rockin' Robin

This is just amazing - such a ridiculous juxtaposition of songs - "tweetly tweet -" and bam, Kurt Cobain's gravelly voice cuts in and it gets all kind of amazing. Go Home Productions is a master of mash-ups.

3. Missy Elliot Vs. Modest Mouse - Get Your Float On

One of Modest Mouse's finest songs, and I didn't think it was possible for it to sound cooler... But it is.

4. Skee-lo Vs. Survivor Vs. Breeders (Soulwax)- I Wish Vs. Eye of the Tiger Vs. Cannonball

This is amazing, it not for the fact that I know the first verse of 'I Wish' - also for the fact that these songs seem made for each other - and then for the suspense when the rhythm guitar kicks in after the bass on 'Cannonball'.

5. Christina Aguilera Vs. Diana Ross - Upside Down and Dirrty (YouTube)

For anyone who found the Christina original a bit abrasive, this is much more fun and danceable.

6. Blondie Vs. The Doors (Go Home Productions) - Rapture Riders

Two classic rock soon which mesh perfectly together. And we still get to hear Debbie Harry's amazing rapping.

7. Dolly Parton Vs. Destiny's Child Vs. Royksopp - Independent Woman Working 9 to 5

There's just a touch of DC at the beginning, but as Dolly Parton fades away to Royksopp there is a definite feeling of dreamy euphoria - perhaps not a mash-up in the sense that the rest of these have been, but still brilliant - perhaps better listened to in the whole album context, but it works for me.

Cardiff and hand-sticking-down-pants

It's been a while... Why I've been putting off something I love for so long eludes me - too busy? (nah), not enough inspiration? (I'm in London ffs) errr... Can't be arsed? You choose.

Anyway. I finally got over being in a room of hipster Wayne's World fans and have been mostly meeting friends in overpriced bars in Soho, making plans to eat mung beans every day and live on 5 p a day (I'm getting there) and getting annoyed with other, more successful writers who are shit (they're not really, I'm just jealous).

I'm currently listening to classical music as listening to LMFAO doesn't seem to breed creativity - I spend most of the song waiting for that guy to say 'Every day I'm shufflin', and do a little seat-dance when he does. I'm not really sure what this post is about yet, if I'm honest... 

I have been doing exciting, really - the other day, I went to Cardiff, which was amazing - I went to Barry Island and dug a hole in some sand and danced in a  club 'til I was dragged away (apparently it's not cool to dance to S Club when there are 10 other people on the dance floor). Oh, and I saw someone from Big Brother who apparently tried to stick his hand down my friend's pants in the middle of the dance floor a couple of years ago.

I am really at a loss as to why he didn't tell anyone.

I will not be schwinging along.

I went to see a 'Schwing-Along' ctually that was very traumatic. I mean, I'm not sure what I was expecting of interactive cinema, but it was considerably more so than I well, was. Don't get me wrong, I thoroughly enjoyed the film and it was great to see my friend (whose idea this was, I had words), oh, and there was popcorn.

But a room that densely populated with hipsters in previously ironic Wayne's World hats, ridiculous wigs and ripped jeans proved too much for me. I managed to stay in my seat though, albeit rolling my eyes passive-aggressively and sinking into my seat so I couldn't be cajoled into quoting along (every SINGLE word, really?!)

You may be thinking, 'what a miserable twat'. Well, maybe I am. Or perhaps a tad socially awkward in this panto-type (but worse) situation. I do appreciate this sense of unity and fun, but forgive me for cringing a little at the headbanging competition (they looked like they had a lot of fun, though, and some people really made a brilliant effort at fancy dress).

All-round, I did have fun (believe it or not - well, you cannot fail to at laugh a lot at that film, or at least smile) and my friend was in her element, singing along, looking at me encouragingly whilst singing (it didn't work). It was a very well organised event (with some enthusiastic and entertaining hosts), if you like that sort of thing, but apparently, it's not my cup of tea.

Campus, growing on me, and Doctor Who, an amalgamation of Pirates of the Carribean and SHIT.

This post is about TV, as you may have deduced from the title. I have either been too busy or preoccupied to write anything for a while, or perhaps I just can't be arsed. You decide.

TV. I just had to write about last week's Doctor Who because it was so shit. I'm not much of a geek, but I just had this fascination with it ever since my mum took me to visit the museum in Llandudno (I was mistaken, it's Llangollen for the pedants) when I was about 8 (hmm, going to sound AWESOME however I put this...). Anyway, in this capacity, I love the sci-fi stuff, and after a great series opener (I love The Silence and I love how simultaneously confusing and exciting that episode was), I was excited about the next episode. Matt Smith could have been Jonny Depp for all I know, I don't really know what happened anyway. No plot development, barely any sci-fi and we still don't know if Amy is pregnant and we don't know who the child timelord is!! Next week's episode will be brilliant though. And full of River Song's-unravelling-goodness.

Campus, however, I am in severe danger of warming to. No, it doesn't always get it right but some of that familiar Victoria Pile warmth is creeping into it (although Matt, one of the main protaganists, is a cross between Mac and Guy from Green Wing, and I'm not entirely convinced). The romance between Nicole, an accomodation officer and pretend lesbian, and Jason, is rather endearing (if not slightly Tim-and-Dawn from the office-esque) and Imogen is just lovely and awkward - and her relentless pursuer and boyfriend, Flatpack, well, he just resembles a puppy (who is just adorable). I seem to have got thus far without mentioning Jonty, the Vice Chancellor - who I really can't warm to - he is just trying, and failing, to be wacky. Where Green Wing succeeded, you have failed, Campus: Pip Torrens trotting like a horse down a hallway is funny (it is), an entire cast breaking out into 'Eternal Flame' and dancing is not funny (about 44 1/2 minutes in, I challenge you to watch it without cringing for more than 10 seconds).

Facebook Crimes #2.

We're all guilty of them from time to time (some of us more than others), here are ten more things that really annoy me about people on Facebook. You can read the first installment here.

1. That nickname that you made for yourself. John 'two-pints' Grey? No-one else calls you that and it's not funny.

2. Status shuffle. If you can't think of anything funny or profound to write yourself, you probably don't need to write anything. At all.

3. Sympathy/Vindictive Status.
Shaniqua Bloggs: 'Some people need to get a life'.
Rachel Twatt: 'Aww hunni, what's wrong? xx'
Shaniqua Bloggs: 'Just someone who's been giving me some shit.'
WHY TELL EVERYONE IF YOU'RE NOT EVEN GOING TO MAKE IT INTERESTING THEN?!

4. The 'indie song lyrics so your friends know how cool you are'. I will admit guilt on many counts for this...

5. People getting annoyed at other people's frapes. Calm down, it's only a frape (I should know, my friends and family constantly get me). And god knows it's probably more funny than the other shit on their homepage.

6. People getting confused and annoyed at why they've been hacked when they clicked an obvious spam link. Actually, that's quite funny.

7. Farmville. 'nuff said.

8. Running commentary of TV shows. Not even for the fact that it's reeally annoying, but because I HAVEN'T FUCKING SEEN IT YET AND YOU RUINED IT!!!

9. Your parents on Facebook. Sometimes funny, usually embarrassing (Dad, I know you'll probably read this).

10. The best one - inane shit that no-one cares about (but apparantly they do). You just had fish and chips and four people liked it? Really?!

Blooms

I went into the garden and took some photos. Turned out alreet.

Pond Life

Granny's pond.

Campus: Piling it on?

Not having had a TV or proper internet for a little while, the airing of Campus, the new brainchild of Victoria Pile and Co. on Channel 4 completely passed me by. I remember that there was a pilot a while back that I watched but didn't pay much attention to: regardless, I got rather excited about watching the series which I now knew was one of Pile's creations.

I watched the first episode with delicious anticipation of what this woman could create, but found myself well... Not that impressed. I haven't given up yet though - I seem to remember hazily that Green Wing on first watch was fairly confusing - it is often the way with such a large ensemble cast. I think it will be a grower - the VC guy is very reminiscent of a 10 x weirder David Brent, in a way, and some of the younger members of the cast have a very similar rapport with each other as in Green Wing - there were definitely some moments to rival those of Guy Secretan and Dr McCartney. I can't help but feel that it is a tad too similar, though, evem the music has the same sort of feel to it, and I did find myself tuning out at some points during the episode.

It definitely has a lot of potential though, especially the crudeness (I know that it received some criticism for this, but I LIKE IT), and the woman walking around making disgusting notes into her Dictaphone. We shall see if it picks up momentum and has any kind of cohesive plot. 6.5/10.

Beat Review

The lovely editor at Beat Review has taken me on as his newest and hottest (well, one out of two ain't bad) writer for the online magazine, so my articles may pop up here from time to time if I think my readers will be interested in it too (well, what else am I going to write about...!?)

My first article, about Tom Vek:

Here

The Private Joke

Funny things, aren't they, in-jokes? They can cause great mirth between friends, alienate and confuse those not 'in' on it.

One could say that they are redundant and exclude others, others could say that they are, in large part when used by the general population, not really funny (fig. 1: most posts on Facebook). Oh, and grossly overused to the point that they are not funny (fig. 2: Anchorman). Saying 'I love lamp' is funny twice, tops.

The perfect private joke is arguably one that is not discernible to the untrained ear - one that is slipped in to a conversation, or a piece of art. Only those that know will share a knowing glance, and those that are not aware will carry on, blissfully unaware and still feel included.

That said, there is nothing like puerile humour once in a while - sometimes, the simple things are the best (anyway, I wouldn't listen to me, I still find it funny when someone says anything remotely related to arses and toilet and my friendship group has an infinite amount of ridiculously silly private jokes).

How to Cover Songs (My Edition).

Cover songs are always difficult. They could be terribly received by critics and fans, they could piss off the original artist for 'ruining' their song (you'll never get the respect you crave from your idols now). These are my criteria/rules. Many may will disagree. They are probably wrong.

1. Make it different enough so that it cannot be confused with the original song.
2. Do NOT cover Teenage Kicks, as no-one can seem to make it any kind of interesting.*
3. It's way more interesting to do a less recent/lesser known song. No-one wants to hear your version. They want to hear the uber-popular.
4. Do not attempt to sing in the same accent that the original recording artist sang the song in. You will probably sound like a knob.
5. You shouldn’t be able to tell that the song is a cover song.
6. Before you start the song, don’t say, ‘I don’t like this song’. It makes you sound like a pretentious twat (I have witnessed this). Why cover it then?
7. Anything that’s been done on Glee now might have that ‘perky teen’ stigma. You have been warned.
8. Your first song is a cover version. What does that say about your music? 
9. Don’t cover a cover in the same style it’s already been done in. Unoriginal.
10. Change the tempo. Change the gender. Completely change the style. Change anything.

*with the exception of Sahara Hotnights, who did a brilliant punk cover that sounded like a completely different song.

I've probably missed something vital out, and included something that you completely disagree with. Well don't keep it to yourself!