Blooms

I went into the garden and took some photos. Turned out alreet.

Pond Life

Granny's pond.

Campus: Piling it on?

Not having had a TV or proper internet for a little while, the airing of Campus, the new brainchild of Victoria Pile and Co. on Channel 4 completely passed me by. I remember that there was a pilot a while back that I watched but didn't pay much attention to: regardless, I got rather excited about watching the series which I now knew was one of Pile's creations.

I watched the first episode with delicious anticipation of what this woman could create, but found myself well... Not that impressed. I haven't given up yet though - I seem to remember hazily that Green Wing on first watch was fairly confusing - it is often the way with such a large ensemble cast. I think it will be a grower - the VC guy is very reminiscent of a 10 x weirder David Brent, in a way, and some of the younger members of the cast have a very similar rapport with each other as in Green Wing - there were definitely some moments to rival those of Guy Secretan and Dr McCartney. I can't help but feel that it is a tad too similar, though, evem the music has the same sort of feel to it, and I did find myself tuning out at some points during the episode.

It definitely has a lot of potential though, especially the crudeness (I know that it received some criticism for this, but I LIKE IT), and the woman walking around making disgusting notes into her Dictaphone. We shall see if it picks up momentum and has any kind of cohesive plot. 6.5/10.

Beat Review

The lovely editor at Beat Review has taken me on as his newest and hottest (well, one out of two ain't bad) writer for the online magazine, so my articles may pop up here from time to time if I think my readers will be interested in it too (well, what else am I going to write about...!?)

My first article, about Tom Vek:

Here

The Private Joke

Funny things, aren't they, in-jokes? They can cause great mirth between friends, alienate and confuse those not 'in' on it.

One could say that they are redundant and exclude others, others could say that they are, in large part when used by the general population, not really funny (fig. 1: most posts on Facebook). Oh, and grossly overused to the point that they are not funny (fig. 2: Anchorman). Saying 'I love lamp' is funny twice, tops.

The perfect private joke is arguably one that is not discernible to the untrained ear - one that is slipped in to a conversation, or a piece of art. Only those that know will share a knowing glance, and those that are not aware will carry on, blissfully unaware and still feel included.

That said, there is nothing like puerile humour once in a while - sometimes, the simple things are the best (anyway, I wouldn't listen to me, I still find it funny when someone says anything remotely related to arses and toilet and my friendship group has an infinite amount of ridiculously silly private jokes).

How to Cover Songs (My Edition).

Cover songs are always difficult. They could be terribly received by critics and fans, they could piss off the original artist for 'ruining' their song (you'll never get the respect you crave from your idols now). These are my criteria/rules. Many may will disagree. They are probably wrong.

1. Make it different enough so that it cannot be confused with the original song.
2. Do NOT cover Teenage Kicks, as no-one can seem to make it any kind of interesting.*
3. It's way more interesting to do a less recent/lesser known song. No-one wants to hear your version. They want to hear the uber-popular.
4. Do not attempt to sing in the same accent that the original recording artist sang the song in. You will probably sound like a knob.
5. You shouldn’t be able to tell that the song is a cover song.
6. Before you start the song, don’t say, ‘I don’t like this song’. It makes you sound like a pretentious twat (I have witnessed this). Why cover it then?
7. Anything that’s been done on Glee now might have that ‘perky teen’ stigma. You have been warned.
8. Your first song is a cover version. What does that say about your music? 
9. Don’t cover a cover in the same style it’s already been done in. Unoriginal.
10. Change the tempo. Change the gender. Completely change the style. Change anything.

*with the exception of Sahara Hotnights, who did a brilliant punk cover that sounded like a completely different song.

I've probably missed something vital out, and included something that you completely disagree with. Well don't keep it to yourself!

The end of Lent

Not the whole of Lent, just mine.

The general theme for the last week or so has been quantity over quality, which was not the intention.

Business back to normal as of now.

Coming up:

The Rules of Cover Songs

Day #23: Watch a Really Girly Gilm

I am not ashamed to admit that Bring it On is one of my favourite films. Ever. Every (girl, at least) has a favourite film that they watched many, many times in that crucial stage of growing up, learnt about life from it, that kinda thing. Bring it On and Mean Girls are two of the films that I watched constantly as a child. Thinking back, they didn't really teach me that much about life, but they did provide me with endless hours of entertainment and the ability to quote pretty much every line whilst watching.

The best thing about Bring it On is that everyone (despite protestations) will enjoy it, whether it be for Eliza Dukshu or Jesse Bradford (who I maintain is even better looking with his crooked smile), OR the cheers - obviously the best part of the film (which 3/4 of my siblings know EVERY word to: be. agressive. be. be. agressive). It combines humour with catchy dance routines (which even boys find hard to resist doing). What is not to love? Standout bits: spirit fingers, that amazing girl from Blaque with the attitude and the auditions. I feel as if this review is biased... I can't really think of what I don't like about it though...

Just watch it. Don't bother watching four (four? Really?) straight-to-video sequels though, they look shit and have none of the original cast in - which begs the question, is it really a sequel?

Perhaps I've said too much...

Day #22: Living Without TV

It just occurred to me. I haven't watched TV for a week. To be perfectly honest, I hadn't really noticed until I thought about it just now. I mean, I've missed new 30 Rock, Glee, Secret Diary of a Call Girl (though frankly, I haven't been overly impressed with this series - ITV should have known when to stop! And where did Bambi and Byron go without as much as a sniff!?), Take Me O- oh no, that's over now. I mean, what will I do with my Saturdays now, I mean, I'll have to go out and see people (and talk about Take Me Out being over).

But it's weird, I watched a lot of TV comparatively when I was home, mainly because I was unemployed and very good at procrastinating (of course, I still managed to do everything else, cough cough). I thought I would miss it more, but I have only just thought about it. The main thing I miss is relaxing, and not thinking about anything (I actually have to think all the time now, who'da thought?).

It's actually very liberating, not watching TV (or anything for that matter - films too). Maybe not telly is not such a  bad thing as first thought, it's probably just the companionship of watching it with someone else, or maybe the blatant escapism to someone else's crappy life, or perhaps it's merely witnessing the excitement of well... someone else's excitement. Now, however, I am very busy and important and don't have time for that.

Well, there is a large backlog of stuff to watch on Sky + when I get home this weekend...

Day #21: First 'Experience' on the Tube

The man opposite me on the tube was most unnerved by the amount of people coughing on the tube. I was most unnerved by him. He was swigging out of a bottle of what I discovered later was amber-coloured liquid in a glass bottle, inside a plastic bag. It was admittedly most amusing as he was threatening to kill the next person who did not cover their mouth whilst coughing. I managed to keep a straight face, however, as I did not wish to incur his alcohol-fuelled wrath. 

The man nearby apparently could not contain his mirth, however, and ended up being sworn at very loudly and aggressively for laughing so - the other tube goers looked away, at the roof - wise, really. The intolerant gentleman then claimed that there were 'too many ladies present' to really cause any trouble. Of course that's why he didn't kill anyone.

Day #20: My First Monday in an Office

So, this every-day posting is not going well without a computer as I have to cheat and write some posts on the same day. Still, must grab any opportunity when I can. I'm on my lunch break now, after my first Monday morning (meetings in Starbucks with my colleagues, like real business people you see in Starbucks, writing about... erm, builders and generally being very busy and important, a la Bridget Jones). 

As it is often the case of being the new girl, I am still trying to settle in but in a couple of weeks, I should be fully part of the team. Being slightly quieter than the average person, I have not yet shown much of my personality, but in time they shall know the extent of my ahem, quirks and HILAROUSNESS. Still, they have all made me feel welcome and are a lovely, friendly, cool office. I am looking forward to getting to know them. 

Reckon that's enough brown-nosing?

Day #15: Be a Man

I am currently wearing a moustache, to get into the man mindset. I'll be honest, I missed it when I took it off (bit sweaty though). Research was minimal: I asked a few people and the responses were 'Jesus', 'Gary Glitter', 'the perfect man' and 'what I'd fancy' amongst others. No... So the brief is, what would you be like if you were a boy? Two people answered sufficiently: one said that she would basically be like her brother looks-wise, and very caring and quite effeminate; the other said that she was thinking about being a boy the other day: "not cos I fancy having a wanger or getting with girls or ought just because it'd be SO MUCH EASIER". Well, quite.

In truth, I wouldn't have that far of a leap. I mean, I retain a certain amount of femininity: I wear dresses (occasionally), make-up, that sort of thing. But I drink pints (much to my big brother's disgust), call my friends foul names and hurl general abuse at them and in my university days, pretty much lived in a pit. So, I reckon I could quite easily adjust (mostly; I don't know if I could quite bring myself to sit around with my hands down my pants as so many men seem to be so fond).

If I were a man, I think that I'd be one of those 'indie twats' (for use of a better phrase), I mean, I could be called such a thing now but it's more difficult to tell - I would be the owner of many a checked shirt, I expect, and skinny jeans (just being realistic). Maybe I'd be a bit of an idiot if I was a boy. My hair would be shaved up the sides and ridiculously feathery on top. And I'd probably be quite disgusting, just, you know, because I could be. I would sport fair amount of stubble, but not a beard, and, well, probably be the lad that uses all the crap chat-up lines on girls because it's funny. Most importantly, I would relish standing up to wee.

NB: These sunglasses were the manliest ones I could find, ok?

Day #14: Sink to a new low

'Sink' to a new low... That's a plughole in a sink... Ahem. Yeh, the bad puns just keep on coming.

No use crying over spilt milk. Actually, that's milk and coffee. 

I was going to post something else today but I decided I needed to do more field research. Not in a field. On, y'know, facebook and that.

On a musical related note (because it feels like there hasn't been one for ages), I've decided I quite like the new Strokes song, despite the album 'Angles' being  ridiculously hyped (I haven't listened to the whole thing yet). They're not exactly breaking new ground, I mean, this sounds like a cross between interchangeable songs from their first and second albums, but it's still working for them, and it's certainly made many Strokes fans feel nostalgic and warm and fuzzy inside. Which is good...

Day #13: Have a Bad Day

... So I had a frankfurter sandwich (with lots of Ketchup, of course) and listened to Jamie Cullum (why I thought that would work I have no clue). I am currently trying to work out whether I should listen to really depressing music and feel really sorry for myself or whether I should listen to something upbeat and snap out of it. Anyway, I still feel like shit so I'm not even going to attempt to write anything else until this metaphorical cloud has passed (number of pieces started today: 4. Number of pieces angrily discarded: 4).

I also tried to cheer myself with by looking at pictures but then found this one of a frog I took last month. I bet it was gutted (Geddit? It was sad and its guts were hanging... Never mind. I'll get my coat). I was cheered slightly by my amazing wit. So it's not all bad. At least I'm not in the same position as that frog.


BREAKING NEWS: Y'know those people who did 'Brim Full of Asha' about a million years ago (well, some time in the 90s)? Cornershop are back with a new album, which I will be reviewing tomorrow. Go on, check back in a day. You know you want to. I already feel better. Thank you Cornershop. To preview the album on HypeMachine, click here.

Day #12: Watch new Skins (Finally)

So, I finally got round to watching Skins this afternoon (yes, it is three days after Thursday but I had to wait until I could watch it with my sister. It's our thing). The big season finale. Was it a success? I am not sure.

I am totally enamoured with the latest cast, after being distinctly unimpressed with the cast of the second generation, bar a few exceptions. Franky, our hero, is the only professional actor in the main cast (Dakota Blue Richards) and she is just delightful: quirky, awkward and cool. So, like me really. Ahem. One out of three ain't bad, anyway. The rest of the cast are endearing in one way or another: Alo the farmer's son and Rich the metalhead are my favourite duo (though the music in Rich's episode was a tad too much for me: yeh, we get it, he's 'metal', does every song have to be so obnoxious?!). The styling team have really excelled themselves, the outfits this season have been really special and almost magical, especially some of Franky's boyish creations, and her hair is so cool (don't really get the boxers though). 

The problem that I have had with the last three seasons is the ultimate focus on the centric character of the episode. They are too self-contained, there is only a glimpse of the world outside that character and compared to the well-balanced first two series, it is a slight disappointment. Having said that, this series has been thoroughly enjoyable, with really nice music (they played my new loves Dog is Dead tonight) and a general aura of cool. I seem to be in the minority with this opinion, as everyone I have spoken to about this has muttered 'it's shit' - no reasons though. Funny, that.

This week's ep was the wedding, or not, as it transpired. It was a placid journey through Somerset, nice music and fairly well balanced in terms of character screen time - then again, it was an 'everyone' episode. The journey did drag slightly at times, but then Spaced's Jessica Stevenson cameo did sweeten the deal. All in all, this week's episode did not set me on fire but I feel I cannot condone this episode for being crap when the rest of the series was so good, especially Rich's and Franky's episodes. I am excited about the next series, as there are several storylines which look promising, a few loose ends to tie up and hopefully the introduction of new characters. Skins is finally back on form! 

Day #11: Get Down on Friday

So I have been resisting listening to new viral sensation Rebecca Black's video: 'Friday', and I finally caved. Poor Rebecca Black. She only wanted to record a song to be heard by her friends and family, and maybe a few other people. Inexplicably, the video went viral in a matter of days, now having received over 14,000,000 views. 

The eighth-grade singer's name began trending on twitter after receiving hundreds of thousands of views, because of her 'unique' voice, unimaginative lyrics and bland nature (which according to NME, has a "standard, substandard chorus" Interesting word choice, NME). I think she's dealing with it rather well though, considering the unexpected fame, hatred and the decision to sing a terrible song. (Yesterday was Thursday, Thursday / Today i-is Friday, Friday... / Tomorrow is Saturday / And Sunday comes after... wards) . The record company, Ark, even gave her the opportunity to take the video off YouTube, but she decided to leave it up, as a 'middle finger up' to the haterz. You go, girlfriend.

Many, many internet memes have already been made, including Rosa Parks, Pedobear and Black Plague-inspired ones. She is being touted as the new Justin Beiber (well, they look similar) (Yeh, I made a terrible Justin Beiber's-a-girl joke) and whilst having received much hate, also made the iTunes top 100 chart. Well, all publicity is good publicity...

Day #10: Go to the ballet

Well, I think I'm back on track for expanding my creative horizons. Amazingly, there was a ballet performance on near me: Coppelia. I, of course, jumped at the chance. It is a ballet that is close to my heart, as it's a bit weird, and something that I have seen several times growing up, having danced for ten years . The basic story is, mad doctor is lonely, he makes a doll for company, boy fancies doll, doll seemingly comes to life (but is girl pretending to be doll), doctor goes mad and boy marries girl. And some other stuff...

My memories of this ballet are extremely hazy in some parts, as it may have been as much as ten years since the last time I saw it, from a great distance. However, my enjoyment was not as I expected: yes, I had a whale of a time, but I felt cheated, in some way.

Shouldn't this experience be richer as a result of my advancing years? I did not enjoy the fact that I could see every sequin on the dancers' dresses, and every expression (their smiles were virtually painted on, why are they all so happy?!).

Having said that, it was really lovely. The costumes were not as, well, grimy or as dark as I would have liked: the ballet having some serious dark potential, I felt a tad disappointed that they did not utilise this side of the production. Some of the dresses were lovely, but the Coppelia that I remember is much simpler and more elegant in dress. And as for Coppelia/Swanilda's dress, it looked like a reject from goth Ann Summers...

Moreover, the set strangely reminded me of the Lloyds TSB ad. Overall, however, the experience was as I had hoped. The professor danced his role as he should, comic timing perfect and looked the part too. Both the leads were suited to their roles, whilst perhaps being too smug, but perhaps such is the way with leads. I mean, you could see everything in those tights.

Day #9: Work with kids

I've never really been that great with kids, but over the last few months I've been helping out with a kid's after-school art group here. Some of them are patience testing, but they are all lovely kids and all so creative, despite being so young (ages ranging from 5-11). See talent in picture over yonder. Look at those colours.

Today we did marbling and origami. Origami is unsurprisingly not messy, yet surprisingly embarrassing when I, the helper, have trouble working out how you fold a bit of paper when there are clear instructions in front of me.

Marbling was, well... less complicated (involving water in bowl, paint in water and putting paper over water) although things did get a little sticky when a particularly young'un got a little overenthusiastic with said paint, and water went everywhere. Considering this was in the middle of an art gallery, it was a little embarrassing. I think said young'un's mother saw the funny side, however, despite the fact that she may not have noticed that her tiny jogging bottoms were spattered in water and paint...

Day #8: Find somewhere to stay

So the fact that I am going to London has not only sunk in, but I am currently trying to find accommodation. It's not difficult to find a flat to rent in London. This gets slightly more difficult if one is trying to find a place for little to well, no money, as I have no, well, minus amounts of money and am trying to find a solution. I am convinced it can be done (without selling my body). So I'm looking at every ad for lettings, part-time au pairing, but no such luck so far.

Trawling through the ads on sites such as Gumtree is slightly disheartening as there are so many, and most of them are far much more than I can afford. Worse than that, however, is the amount of weirdos that post there: one advert I saw raised my spirits momentarily: "Do you need short term Free accomodation?" On second glance, I realised that 'accommodation' was spelt incorrectly and that there is no such thing as a free lunch. On reading the actual advert, I rolled my eyes and cringed... "I OFFER : ONE DBL BEDROOM FOR FREE FOR SINGLE ATTRACTIVE GIRL / FEMALE....... ;););).. (SHORT TERM) ........ ;););)" Oh, and he's a 30-year old male. Rapiest. Ad. Ever. I wonder what replies he recieved... I mean, was he actually successful? Considering this ad has popped up four times since I started yesterday, probably not yet...

Back to the drawing board it is, then...

Also, if you hadn't heard, Nate Dogg died yesterday. RIP.

Day #7: Get an internship

For the last few weeks, I have been increasingly uninspired and disheartened, because I haven't actually been anywhere further than a 20-mile radius in... about two months. Now, if I had been working a full-time job with far fewer money worries and not mostly bored out of my SKULL, I would have not noticed this fact too much. However, apart from sporadic volunteering I have been largely stuck at home looking for a job. 

Times are a-changing, however. I have been offered an internship, in London, for sixteen weeks, at a magazine, with some lovely people. THE most exciting thing that has happened to me in about six months. Or more. I feel alive again! I will see the city lights again, I will be living the dream! Oh, and it starts next week. Just a few minor details to sort out - living, when to get there, you know, nothing major....!

The important thing is, I AM GETTING AWAY for a bit! Besides, I already have an Oyster Card. What else could I need!?