Ranting (a not-very-comprehensive guide)

Dear readers (whoever you are, I would love to know who you are),

I just wrote two paragraphs about all the volunteer work I'm doing/will be doing but then I remembered that I'm trying to secure new readers and not bore them to death. No, that will come later.

So I sat looking at things that other people had wrote (better than me) , and then put some music on shuffle (a mixed bag), looked out of the window (dull) and finally consulted my trusty coffee shop notebook and came across a piece I wrote on how to rant. Am I really qualified to write on this? No. Will I anyway? Yes, because I haven't any better ideas. I'll keep it short: there are three main things.

Firstly, and most importantly, it is most important to get your point across coherently. If you are too angry to write in proper sentences using correct grammar and punctuation, it will lose impact and be taken less seriously.  Passion is important, but conveying the point to others is too.

Secondly, tone is very important. It can be difficult to perfect (have I perfected mine? Probably not. Do I overuse parentheses? Definitely). The writer may be knowledgeable on the subject, and have many valid points of view, but comes across as a complete twat as he or she comes across as either condescending  or pretentious. Or both. 

Finally, it is important to determine the audience you are writing for, and which one to write for, which admittedly is difficult, as there is a) perceived audience, b) target audience, and c) actual audience to consider. For example, this blog. Hopefully I have readers. I can only hope that I don't sound like a twat (and take my own advice).

On shuffle: Badly Drawn Boy, Grandmaster Flash, The Runaways, Mclusky and Les Savy Fav

Top #10 Facebook crimes

Well, there are more than that, but let's face it: both you, the reader, and I, the ranter, will get bored after ten. Please feel free to add more.

1. Overly soppy couples. There is an inbox feature for a reason.

2. ENDLESS photo albums. No-one wants to see 100 pictures of you and your mates being 'random'.

3. Private joke statuses that no-one else will find remotely funny/interesting. No-one else understands, why are you posting it for everyone to see? So they can see that you actually have friends, or...?

4. Relentless self-promotion. Once in a while, when you are trying to get established, ok... All the time? I stopped bothering to even click the link after the fourth time that day.

5. Those really annoying fan pages. You know the ones. Not funny, usually misspelt and full of 'I thought I was only one to think that way!!!!! Omg!!!!111111' You can't become a fan of a shit phrase. You are supposed to be a fan of a band, or an artist etc. Not 'I love my bed!' or that classic, 'Randomly laughing because you remembered something funny' (5,114,329 people like this).

6. Almost hourly life updates. Again, no-one cares if you are asleep (surely impossible if you are writing this), sooo stoked for dinner or 'at spoons wiv my girlies,  emma jones && @sally smith'.

7.  People with babies. Well, the ones who post about their every action. Well done for procreating, I don't need to know every time it has a shit.*

* This may be a slight exaggeration.

8. Places. John Smith is at Tesco. Erm, great?

9. Spam. How exciting!! A private message! Who could it be?!? Oh, it's that group that I don't really want to leave, but send me about 5 messages a day. 

10. Poking. Want to get in contact but are too lazy to think of anything to actually say to your friend? Then, the poke is just the action for you. 

**Disclaimer: I ain't saying I'm a saint all the time...

Valentines Day

Unlike the rest of the single population, I don't hate Valentine's day. I am indifferent to it, mostly. Also, it's a day to laugh at other couples publicly declaring that they cannot live without their smoochy-coos (hilarious)! But srsly, I think it's nice that there's a day that's special for them (that makes "them" sound like another species, doesn't it). Everyone likes to feel special. And before you interrupt with something about hallmark and "corporate bullshit", well, card companies will try and make money out of every occasion. Stop being so sceptical and let them enjoy their day. Or sit at home with your parents and watch The Notebook and rant about how "Valentine's Day is such a sellout, man, the joke's on them", whilst simultaneously wondering why no-one's asked you to be their Valentine.

I suppose what I am trying to say is, my problem is not with the day itself, but with the childish way in which it is recieved, on both sides: on one hand are the haters. On the other, the giving of teddies (great, another sentimental item that can fall down the side of my bed to gather dust and resentment) and overly sentimental posts on social networking sites (funny for a while, but why would you want to lose all sense of individuality and make people feel sick and want to hit you at the same time?) 

So couples, I implore you to celebrate the day not with lavish gestures, swathes of flowers and dust-magnets, but to simply appreciate each other. And singles, not to be bitter or self-pitying (ok, you can pity them if you really want to pity someone). After all, it is just another day.

The Young Creatives

They featured me!!! 

Stay tuned for a special Valentine's Day post.

http://theyoungcreatives.wordpress.com/

Festivals and stuff.

I have just been informed that I have been successful in getting my blog featured in theyoungcreatives blog, and it's not there yet, but it will be... soon...

So, despite the fact that I am completely broke and owing... a (reasonable) sum to my credit card company, the offer of another festival was too good to miss, so when my mate rang me and asked if I wanted to go to 2000 Trees Festival, the sway was too much to resist, and when the offer of discounted tickets for another festival (Y Not Festival was thrown in, well, it would have been rude to say no. With the line up of 2000 Trees featuring Los Campesinos, And so I Watch you from Afar (of previous blog fame) and Tall Ships (Read an article about them here), I knew that I had to go.

The two festivals, coupled with Glastonbury (finally) will ensure that I will have absolutely no money all summer, but it'll be an awesome three weekends...

The only drawback is, (see post below about how to stand at gigs) how will I get through three whole weekends of stumbling across minefields: standing by my tent, at casual gigs, morning and evening gigs, by the facepainting tent (not that I'll be there)?! I joke, I'll be sitting on a tartan blanket drinking tea out of a vacuum flask.

How to stand at a gig #1

Another week, I am ill (again) and another pleasant university visit (which merely makes me tired and wish I was at home eating raw vegetables. Nonetheless, I had a lovely time). 

So, music. As I get older (and poorer) I go to fewer gigs, which continues to sadden me as I appear to be making less and less effort to seek out new bands, relying on friends and sometimes, when I'm daring, 'similar artists' on Spotify or last.fm. (my profile is here if you're interested). So I'm going to see Les Savy Fav in a few weeks, about which I am rather excited. And so it goes (sneaky Vonnegut reference in there), the constant dilemma at gigs of what to do (my current favourite is to stand at the back and look like I would rather be anywhere else).

But when I was, you know, seventeen, eighteen, I used to love nothing more than to jump around, sing along, hug my friends and generally look like a prat. And now, no more. Am I too self-conscious? Am I scared of getting battered by some kid doing the windmill? (Don't even get me started on moshpits) A gig I went to last year (Danananakroyd) (Is that enough nanas?) had not a wall of death, but a wall of hugs, which was really lovely, and still I could not bring myself to join in. It may have had something more to do with what I can only describe as an overgrown schoolboy leaping about in front of me acting like, well an overgrown schoolboy with ADD. Still, with the large number of dancers, I feel I should have made the effort for those lovely Scottish lads. Drinking has largely lessened my inhibitions in the past, but shouldn't I be proud, and want to dance sober? Show my love and appreciation for all of the truly amazing bands I have seen, and will see?

I can only conclude, as from previous posts, that I have got boring and/or must pretend not to care about anything. 

Or maybe I'll have a few pints before.

I'll let you know how it goes.

Les Savy Fav - The Sweat Descends
Dananananakroyd - Infinity Milk

////EDIT/////
I forgot to mention couples at gigs (As pointed out to me by a mate)! In no way acceptable are: prolonged amounts of hugging, kissing or being more interested in each other than the music. No-one wants to vomit before the decent time of 3am after ten pints and a dodgy kebab.

I got those Monday blues.... (And something about telly)

Actually, why am I blue? I may be 'technically' unemployed but I don't have a job to get up for on Monday mornings and I can just pretend to be doing some 'proper writing' by writing in this blog. I am feeling sorry for myself because I have a cold and don't want to leave the house and there are no jobs, so those are my Monday blues (Boo stiggin' hoo, man up Coxhead! Just realised that looks like something my dad would write). 

This will be a weekly post as... Well, because. I can save up all the interesting things I have learnt that week. Or something.

Anyway, being unemployed, I watch a lot of TV, of which a lot looks very promising but turns out to be... Shite. Some of them not so shite, and some completely guilty pleasures.

Episodes

After discovering that this programme was going to be on television, I was very excited - Tamsin Greig, Stephen Mangan AND Matt LeBlanc to star. I am currently watching the third episode but cannot really fathom watching a fourth. The storyline is ok but the soundtrack is bad, the acting of most of the characters is bad, with the exception of Stephen Mangan and Tamsin Greig making the best of a bad situation and even worse, laboured jokes. As the internet would say, fail.

Take Me Out

 Yes, it is a guilty pleasure but this is one of the reality TV shows I will watch. I mean, sometimes I do feel sorry for the sweet girls who get rejected week after week but well, they only have theirselves to blame, as their desperation seeps out... It's just too good. And then double cringe points when the date is shown the next week and at the end the girl usually doesn't actually fancy the bloke... Brill. But terrible, all the same.

Skins
I actually already wrote quite a long review in Costa, and you probably don't want to read the uncut version, after all, it was in a book and with a pen I tend to ramble more, even if no-one can read it (including me!). So, Skins. After seeing several posts on Facebook about how shit it was, I watched it at first with trepidation. After all, the last cast were not likeable, bratty and  at times, unbelieveable too. But I loved it. I loved Franky, the main protagonist, the main bitch (WITH A BRIZZLE ACCENT!), Minnie, and the metal boy and the ginger boy. And the boy with the B-E-A-utiful mouth at the end. The music, skins-esque, which is fine, with the wonderful excpetion of the inclusion of Chopin's 'Minute Waltz' whilst they were dancing around the shopping centre whilst on a bit of cocaine. Perhaps because it was unexpected (although classical music has featured heavily in Jal's and JJ's episodes in the past) but also because I love classical musical bunged into popular culture. One post on FB that I saw said that the ending was 'an anticlimax' - I totally don't agree - Skins does not have to be the most shocking or the coolest, and the colours and cinematography in the swimming pool scene was beautiful. A lovely end to a really promising first show. I am excited about being excited about Skins for the first time in 2 years - I hope I am not alone.

And So I Watch You From Afar

Photo by Graham Smith

AND So I Watch You From Afar have been around since 2006, but their success has really started to take off in the last year with excellent critical acclaim from various magazines. When I was recommended this Belfast-based band a few months ago by my friend Hannah (named and shamed!) I must admit that I was a tad dubious by her description: 'They're instrumental rock but they're not boring at all!'

On the contrary, the first song I listened to on their MySpace, Set Guitars to Kill, blew me away - they're my ideal type of band: not too growly (well, not at all as they are instrumental) with cranked-up crashing guitars at the beginning and descending into some cheeky almost synthy-sounding guitar melodies. Just beautiful to listen to, resulting in several climatic parts of the song which almost have the listener in suspense. And the fact that their songs are sans lyrics merely enhances the multi-layered tunes.

I've always said lyrics were overrated anyway.

I missed out on the chance to go and see them at the end of last year in Cardiff in Clwb Ifor Bach (Or Welsh Club to most) but the next time they're in England I will definitely not be missing out on what I have heard will be a phenomanal experience.

And they're not bad looking either.

ASIWYFA Myspace

Video for 'Set Guitars To Kill'

P.S. I did steal this photo off their myspace so in the unlikely event of anyone affiliated with ASIWYFA or the photographer seeing this, I hope this is ok.

UPDATE: I managed to see them at 2000 Trees Festival (review for Beat Review here) - they were amazingly intense and lovely. 

Baby Lobsters

DSC07462

Originally uploaded by girlscoutuplate

I recently discovered (half an hour ago, to be exact), that I can upload to flickr via my Blackberry, and blog from flickr, which will ensue that I will waste much more time on here.

Looking at what I have on here from various occasions, I am just blown away by my photographic talent. Japes, I have absolutely no talent whatsoever, but sometimes I capture cool stuff!

Like this baby lobster, I think it's about two weeks old, at the Lobster Hatchery in Cornwall, which is surprisingly small, but nonetheless has a good selection of large and aged lobsters and crabs and such with increasingly stupid names.

Nice colours, clarity and angle... Maybe? I don't know. I like it.

The Future Lab

The Future Lab
Originally uploaded by girlscoutuplate

Just a wee collage I found in my room (centre print I did myself but the rest of images are found in nme, q etc.) and put into a simple editor, heightened contrast and pumped up the saturation, simples.

I am turning into a fifty-year old woman.

Seriously.

I complain about social networking sites, I want to stay at home, or go to the gym, and I actually get excited about healthy eating. Oh, and I no longer enjoy going out drinking (instead I enjoy a nice cup of lemon and ginger tea with a double bill of Coronation Street and Silent Witness, and that's just Monday) and I get hangovers that last for over one day.

The final straw came yesterday when my mother called me a hermit. I need to get out more.

The first items on my schedule include going for a takeaway at a friend's tonight and giving blood tomorrow. Well, I've got to start somewhere.

It's not as if I would be leading this sanctimonious lifestyle if I lived in somewhere that wasn't well, shit, and I wasn't trying to save so that I might be able to live somewhere exciting (ANYWHERE ELSE), but I do recognise that my life has reached a critical condition of sadness.

Still, it's not the end of January yet, that's not too late to change, right? Cardiff for a soap-inspired party (yes, my life is dominated by soaps) at the end of the month, and to my dear old university, Keele, for a week, where I will (attempt to) drink heavily. And die. Probably.

It's that time of the month...

To blog. Not anything else, you dirty people (well, person) (WELL, me).

SO, I've been fairly lax, or lazy, to be more accurate, in writing this or indeed anything, except how amazing I am in approximately thirty different ways (difficult).

I read the paper this morning, the new one that's advertised on telly, a clever offshoot of The Independent newspaper, which condenses the daily news into a much smaller, more 'digest-able' package. And it only cost 20p. Bargain, considering most people would spend more than that on chewing gum (nearly 50p for something you chew for about twenty minutes and then spit out - delightful). Anyway, I enjoyed it (the paper, not the chewing gum), whilst feeling a tad cheated as I was able to easily complete most of the crossword (well, it's not The Telegraph).

There was an article in there about the controversial speeches and introductions Ricky Gervais made at The Golden Globes, and having seen some of it, well... it was quite funny wasn't it? Yes, he may of offended a few people, but as many have pointed out, the Golden Globes folks knew this would happen if they hired Gervais, really. Personal highlights included Alec Baldwin and Tina Fey desperately trying to hide their mirth and Ricky's muttered 'alright' and moving on swiftly when a joke fell flat on its face. And of course, the famous Bruce Willis being Ashton Kutcher's dad joke. And the fact that several people tried, and failed, to start a fight with him after the show. If celebrities will accept by becoming famous that a lot of their dirty laundry will be aired in public, and most importantly, will learn to laugh at themselves, such as Hugh Hefner did at his own expense, their lives would really be a lot easier (though they wouldn't gain as many column inches by NOT complaining about this.

Blissed out

I always say I'm going to remember to write in this but I never do. I read these blogs about peoples day-to day lives and their boy drama but does anyone really care? Like facebook, nobody cares if you have checked in to Wetherspoons. Well, maybe some people do. The people who are also there with you, also on their wankPhones, commenting on said check-in or status, oo we're so crazy, sitting right next to each other and having a conversation on the internet.

Oops, that turned into a bit of a rant. Probably an identikit rant to other ones on people's blogs but there we go.

I think someone said once that the best writing was about writing. Which is confusing, but quite... umm.... post-modernist, self-reflexive and all that bollocks. I might write about my experiences of the last two weeks, I've been at Bliss Mag for two weeks. It was cool. I actually enjoyed it more than I thought I would, and it turns out that I've got quite a good teenage voice. and I don't know if it's good or not, but it's a definite career possibility.

Anyway, I haven't actually written anything about anything yet, so I'll say I'll write about this week but I'll come back to it in six weeks and won't remember or be arsed.

Two Door Cinema Club - What You Know

Nice indie-pop, this band are getting quite big now.

Teen TV is Top

Misfits, I love you for making the nation (and more importantly, me) aware of this song:

Chemical Brothers - Swoon (Boys Noize Summer Mix)

The second episode of the new series, this song comes on when they're all dropping in a club and my first port of call is the e4 website to id the track. Beautiful. The sighing vocals are a bit reminiscent of Aphex Twin's Windowlicker, except less... grotesquely weird. Adding on the simple but effective lyrics and the synths typical of this genre = my perfect song.

Also, was looking at the old Skins playlists whilst on the e4 website, because they did pick some gems didn't they? - and re-discovered Asobi Seksu (according to wikipedia, a 'dream pop band', whatever that means), who are really lovely, particularly this track, which I think is one one of the episodes somewhere.

Asobi Seksu - Thursday


God, I should blog more often. I mean, who doesn't want to read this bollocks?

Ok by me in America, everything free in America

I haven't written in this in some time, I thought I might start up again, it might be fun.

I went to various parts of Canada and America for some three weeks the other day, it was fun - then I looked on a map and realised that we had actually travelled completely across North America, which was quite cool.

British Columbia -> Alberta -> Saskatchewen -> New York

Those were the provinces/states we went to/through.

I might write an account of this in a bit.

One man's junk...

... is another man's treasure.

I like junk, it's cool, in an ugly, messy, unwanted way. Probably why I find it very difficult to throw anything away.

The above is a print using bits of lace, masking tape, ribbon and general bits of rubbish. It is slightly edited (contrast is heightened, slight yellow tint for aging) but the original is cool too - there's a slight blue tint somewhere there). Did that at Yale College for A Level art, it was fun. I can't remember the printing type name though.

Something a bit different... I wish.

What do the following songs have in common?

Sex on Fire - Kings of Leon
Poker Face - Lady GaGa
Boom Boom Pow - Black Eyed Peas
Bonkers - Dizzee Rascal
In for the Kill - La Roux

Snore. They're all played at least once in every regular pub/club at the moment.

I hear the opening bars in a club and the WAAAYY OHHHHH I LOVE THIS SONG punctures the familiar melody... And a heavy feeling of desperation to be somewhere else fills my heart.

And this is why clubs that play music from pre-2000 and music that has never been in the charts because it's something a bit different. And even stuff I don't know.

Some photographs.

There were several more, but they were shit, so I took them out.

One of my least favourite places in my time at Keele University (my poky room in Newcastle-Under-Lyme) - isolated from Keele and a reminder of slightly sadder times.

Nice rainbow on the ceiling though.

Tubelord & Blakfish

Went to see Tubelord, Blakfish and Mae-Shi at the weekend. Amazing, particularly Blakfish - so much energy! Tubelord were wonderful but I couldn't really witness the fitness, damn being short. Speaking of short, the set was over far too quickly. And Mae-Shi were pretty damn cool too, with the parachute thing, and the guy with the crew-cut at the front trying to get off with the lead singer too. And I got a t-shirt, too - stood right next to the lead singer and couldn't even say anything to him, I think he was looking at me funny anyway, whatever I had done I'd have looked like an idiot (in this instance, it was giving the t-shirt guy several over-enthusiastic thumbs up and grinning like an idiot.

Still.

///EDIT///
 There was a bit of a rant at the beginning but I took it out because it sounded very silly.

Indie-ish dee-lites.

I love Tubelord.

A lot.

His voice, the various layers of songs, the little climactic bits... Everything. B-E-A-utiful.

And they don't look too shabby, either.

(I Am Azzerad MP3 and other songs by some other people)

Also, Tokyo Police Club, from Canada. Jaunty indie-type thing.

Tokyo Police Club mp3s.  Jaunty indie.

One more band, well, you've probably heard of them, but their new song, lovely:Bombay Bicycle Club. His voice is just haunting. Listen to 'Always Like This' on their MySpace.

I am in the middle of writing an essay, hence the reason for the blog. Though no-one reads this because no-one knows about it, so it's sort of like the tree falling in the forest. But it still makes a noise, even if no-one hears it. Yep. About detective fiction, it is. I just can't seem to get started.

I've decided I'm going to start a scrapbook, or a journal, if you will. Maybe. I saw this really cool idea, using an old book (containing text already) and drawing/pasting over that. It might be something amazing, if I ever start.

Anyway, back to writing my essay.

'til next time (about 2 weeks then, probably).